it’s a book about friendship… keep reading to contribute your friendship stories and rituals

Up in the top three questions I get asked the most is; ‘so, when is your book coming out?’. This, despite the fact that I have never voiced any ambition or particular plans to write a book. I mostly just like books.

However(!), here we are. A few weeks ago, a friend sent me an email that triggered a rapid thought escalation, cumulating in a synaptic explosion of…

‘THIS is the book’.

The book is about friendship. I’m bouncing around titles, but it is about going ‘beyond birthdays’ in our adult friendships. It’s less of a dense prose book, and more of a burst of joy, showcasing a host of fun, interesting, creative, quirky, and meaningful examples of the ways that people spend time with, and celebrate their friends.

It’s not just a book of ideas like ‘hiking with friends is good’ (although obviously that’s also true) or ‘I like my friends because they’re always there for me’ (which is nice). This is more of a recipe book of the specific stories of tiny regular rituals, creative celebrations, and more interesting time spent together.

Based on the amazing contributions I’ve received so far, there are some themes emerging…

💗 Regular rituals (things people do on a daily/weekly/monthly/annual basis)

💗 Keeping in touch / friendship from a distance

💗 The Whatsapp groups (I’ve had so many cool examples of how people use Whatsapp/other messaging apps creatively and meaningfully)

💗 Celebrating more / make the everyday an event

💗 Something about ageing together

I’m a huge fan of friendship. I think it’s a tragedy that friendship is regularly relegated to ‘secondary’ to romantic relationships in Western cultures. Especially when often it’s our friendships that are the richest and most enduring relationships in our lives.

Despite most people’s enthusiasm about their friends, it’s so often these people we’ll cancel on more easily, go too long without seeing or talking to, and generally regret not making more effort with. There is even a whole category of ‘millennial culture’ online videos about this. Before long, we’re just forwarding cat videos to each other on Instagram (sorry Julie) or forcing yet another dinner / drinks catch up on someone’s birthday.

Our lives are all so busy, so it’s easy to slip into these less connected ways of co-existing. But friendship is a bloody joy, so we should recognise that more. And given the pervasive feelings of disconnection, division, and loneliness, it’s clear we need each other more than ever.

As I’ve stated writing, I’ve bounced the ideas with several friends and friend-adjacent people. The topic is resonating so much, and I’ve loved how quickly people share their own stories about the fun things they do / have done with friends, and share their excitement about reading more examples of what other people do.

Which brings me to…

Tell me about your friendships!

I’m taking submissions to include in the book (I know, very meta). I know there are SO many amazing examples of the things people do with their friends that are fun and unique and wonderful, and should be shared to spark some imagination of how we all celebrate the friends in our lives. Tell me about them!

(You can write your submission using the Google form, or ‘talk’ to me using Speakpipe.

Submission deadline: 24 December 2024

Of course, if you know someone who has their own cool friendship ritual or experience, please forward this to them to submit their story.

You can follow the book writing process by subscribing to the bookmark, or following along on LinkedIn.